Over the weekend I was a speaker at an authors retreat in Quincy, Illinois put on by Indies United Publishing House. It was a great event, and I remain truly grateful for the opportunity to have been a part of it.
The closing dinner was followed by The And I Thought Ladies giving out their annual awards, as well as Indies United Publishing House recognizing the winners of their Small Bites short story competition.
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During her acceptance speech, one of the award recipients talked about the alarming number of suicides that happen and encouraged the attendees to simply say Hello to a stranger or wish them a nice day or compliment something that they’re wearing. That small gesture, she said, could be what helps them to see another day.
In the creator world it is easy to get down on yourself, unfortunately. Something like one of those suggestions could help the person who has decided that they’re in too much despair to write anymore, film anymore, sing anymore, and so on.
Needless to say, I like the suggestions that that honoree made.
I’m going to add to it a recommendation that isn’t tremendously original, but one that could stand to be repeated. This is for the songwriter, the podcaster, the author, the YouTuber, the creator who gets frustrated looking at what other people are doing. In other words, they’re making the mistake of assuming that what they’re seeing on social media is reality.
It’s easy to get caught up in the comparison game, when you see someone who keeps posting about all their wins – or so you think. The truth is, we don’t post the bad things, the failures, the no response, the, well, you get it. So, the very person whose posts are making you grit your teeth more and more might actually be battling something of which you aren’t aware.
In fact, the award recipient who I referred to above said, “Someone in this room right now is struggling.” And in a room of people all dressed up for a nice dinner and awards program, that’s impactful.
You do have to take care of you. And mental health is very much a part of that. So, guess what? If there’s someone whose Instagram posts just upset you every time you see them, unfollow them. There, I said it. It’s more than likely that they won’t know and you’ll be the better for it. Soon you won’t even remember that you’re not seeing their posts anymore and you’ll have a better experience as you surf the feed.
While I’m being redundant in the sense of passing along advice that you surely have heard before, I have to underscore the importance of having thick skin. There are going to be bad reviews on Amazon of your book, on iTunes of your podcast, on social media about your song, on YouTube about your latest video. It’s just part of the business.
And guess what? When someone sends you a turn-down email, you shake it off and you move on. Firing them back a nasty email (1) only gets your blood boiling even more, and (2) gives them all the more reason to feel they made the right decision and reinforce why they won’t have a Yes for you in the future.
Now you’ve hurt yourself even more because bad news travels fast.
Like I said, have thick skin. Complain to your roommate, your sibling, your best friend, a parent, a bandmate, a close confidant, but don’t engage in retaliation because someone gave you a, “So sorry, but unfortunately…” response.
Your mental health will thank you for taking the higher road and so will your future wins that you got because you were calm, cool, and collected.
For more than twenty years I have been helping indie music artists, authors, actors, entrepreneurs, podcasters, filmmakers, small business owners, and more. What challenges are you having in your creator career that I can lend some insight to? Connect with me so you can take advantage of all my experience, and I can help and keep you moving forward.